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Don’t get me wrong, she raised me since I was a baby. She gave me hugs, kissed my boo-boos and took those little pigs in All I Want For Christmas is You Just Kidding I Want Elephant T T-Shirt to school for our Christmas and Valentines day parties. She was a great mom. I hope a lot of little kids have moms like that, but then you grow up. You meet the real person. You meet the person behind the smile. For some, that is a day when you realize that your parents aren’t perfect and that they have flaws. For me it was the day I realized that within my mother there was this vicious animal monster with both a tactical and strategic mindset for violence. All of a sudden it doesn’t seem so strange that her son would write a detailed battleplan on how to invade the Magic Kingdom’s Cinderella Castle. I need to back up a bit more.
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When I was in the seventh I was bullied, a lot. I lived in a small town and when you get ostracized there is All I Want For Christmas is You Just Kidding I Want Elephant T T-Shirt away from it. It felt like the whole school was in on it. I’m not exaggerating to say that I literally felt completely alone, worse I felt like every time I turned, someone wanted to take their shot. My friends completely abandoned me, afraid that they would catch loser, and I felt totally lost. It was probably one of the worst long term periods of my life. That lasted for about five months. Then people got tired of it. People didn’t really make fun of me, but I didn’t have any friends either. Except this one kid. Andy. He was in the grade above me and ran with the popular 8th graders. It seemed he couldn’t go a day without trying to create some mental damage on me. Andy made songs that they would all sing, talk about me where they knew I could hear, pick on me in every available opportunity. I hated him. I loathed him. I hated my life. This went on until the end of the year. One day Mom was driving me home. It was about four days until the last day of school. She saw me looking incredibly down. It had been a very hard day. She said to me. “OK. You’re going to tell me what is going on. I see you like this for months and you never tell me what is going on. What is happening with you?”
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That afternoon we talked about things. She asked me why I put up with it. The funny thing was that I could probably have fought him and done well enough at All I Want For Christmas is You Just Kidding I Want Elephant T T-Shirt before that. Surprised? I had been in martial arts for several years. I competed and had placed first in the State in sparring two years in a row. Two years after this I recieved my black belt in Tae Kwon Do. Fighting wasn’t really the problem, it was not fighting. As miserable as I was I had one rule to follow. Since knowing how to fight gave me a certain advantage my mom also gave me a very important rule. Never throw the first punch. If someone else attacks you, give it back to them, but I better never throw the first punch. However scared I was of Andy came no where near how afraid I could be of my mom. The tragic irony in all this was that the rule was intended to keep me from becoming a bully.